Quote:
|
Originally Posted by willravel
I don't really mean to mess up, but I do from time to time as most do. I always make it a point, though, to try and learn from my mistakes and poor behavior so that I can improve as a person.
Not everyone does this, though... There's no remorse, and they're likely to do it again. This can be common in children who are still learning societal and moral norms, of course, and they can be forgiven because of their ignorance, but what an adult who understands a basic right and wrong construct and still breaches this for some selfish reason is willfully being a bad person.
|
There is no remorse when one feels he's right. You think
he's being selfish?
Quote:
|
Should someone who willfully does harm by word or deed be forgiven if they are not repentant?
|
I understand being in pain, you might feel that way. But he's still your father. Can you see his side and not necessarily agree with him? Again, I'm not saying he was right, but he must have perceived your arguing with him as sassing or talking back. As a father, he must have felt disrespected and meted out the punishment. Why should he repent? It's his job to teach you to respect.
Quote:
|
I found myself suddenly back at age 16... he was and continues to be sure that he did the right thing, which baffles me.
|
Back at the age of 16? Does that mean he baited and you bit? With age comes wisdom and here's my dime, take it or leave it.
This is why he feels sure he did the right thing; you talked back, he's teaching you that it's wrong. You fall back to childhood, he falls back to fatherhood.
I don't know if you still live in his house but somehow I doubt that. If you did, then hell yeah, he's the boss. But you're old enough to catch him in the right mood and let him know you're an adult and don't need disciplining anymore. You're an adult, dammit, and you should be able to disagree with him.
If he can't be rational and discuss the subject to your liking, then you may be down to what I call "keeping things pleasant". This means you don't talk about anything of substance or anything that could potentially wreak havoc on his set and tender psyche.
I've forgiven my mom for some really shitty parenting and although conversing with her can still be difficult, I let EVERYTHING that she says that annoys me, is wrong and normally would be bait, go by. I don't know when she's going to die and I know that whenever she does, I want her to pass knowing that I loved her despite her faults and that I can move on in peace when she does. For me, that's become more important than being right.