Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Forgiveness for remorseless, willful behavior

Willravel · 12-18-2007, 01:53 PM

I like forgiving people when they change. I also like to be forgiven when I learn from something. It's about becoming a better person. I don't really mean to mess up, but I do from time to time as most do. I always make it a point, though, to try and learn from my mistakes and poor behavior so that I can improve as a person.

Not everyone does this, though. Some people do bad things knowing full well what they're doing and are not repentant after. They do what they do or say what they say and have no qualms about how what they've done is destructive in some way. There's no remorse, and they're likely to do it again. This can be common in children who are still learning societal and moral norms, of course, and they can be forgiven because of their ignorance, but what an adult who understands a basic right and wrong construct and still breaches this for some selfish reason is willfully being a bad person.

Should someone who willfully does harm by word or deed be forgiven if they are not repentant?

Today my dad and I got into a little fight over the phone about something inconsequential and I found myself suddenly back at age 16. There was a particular incident where I had to do a stress test for my heart by running for a long time on a treadmill. This often meant 45 minutes of walking to running for me, and left me absolutely exhausted. Unfortunately, we had a minor fight in the car drive on the way to the stress test. We got into the waiting room, I was called back, I ran for 45 minutes, and when I came out my father was gone. He had decided that if I was old enough to argue with him, I was old enough to find my way home. What he forgot to take into account , or possibly something he was aware of, was that because I was running, I didn't bring my cell phone or wallet. I was stranded, exhausted and virtually incapable of walking the 20 or so miles home. I did end up walking home (and found out that you can't call cell phones collect, which meant I couldn't contact any of my friends), but it took me many hours and by the time I got home it was the middle of the night and I had severely pulled muscles in my legs and was severely dehydrated.

This is one of those things I simply can't bring myself to forgive. I discussed it with him later, and he was and continues to be sure that he did the right thing, which baffles me.

12-18-2007, 01:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Forgiveness for remorseless, willful behavior I like forgiving people when they change. I also like to be forgiven when I learn from something. It's about becoming a better person. I don't really mean to mess up, but I do from time to time as most do. I always make it a point, though, to try and learn from my mistakes and poor behavior so that I can improve as a person. Not everyone does this, though. Some people do bad things knowing full well what they're doing and are not repentant after. They do what they do or say what they say and have no qualms about how what they've done is destructive in some way. There's no remorse, and they're likely to do it again. This can be common in children who are still learning societal and moral norms, of course, and they can be forgiven because of their ignorance, but what an adult who understands a basic right and wrong construct and still breaches this for some selfish reason is willfully being a bad person. Should someone who willfully does harm by word or deed be forgiven if they are not repentant? Today my dad and I got into a little fight over the phone about something inconsequential and I found myself suddenly back at age 16. There was a particular incident where I had to do a stress test for my heart by running for a long time on a treadmill. This often meant 45 minutes of walking to running for me, and left me absolutely exhausted. Unfortunately, we had a minor fight in the car drive on the way to the stress test. We got into the waiting room, I was called back, I ran for 45 minutes, and when I came out my father was gone. He had decided that if I was old enough to argue with him, I was old enough to find my way home. What he forgot to take into account , or possibly something he was aware of, was that because I was running, I didn't bring my cell phone or wallet. I was stranded, exhausted and virtually incapable of walking the 20 or so miles home. I did end up walking home (and found out that you can't call cell phones collect, which meant I couldn't contact any of my friends), but it took me many hours and by the time I got home it was the middle of the night and I had severely pulled muscles in my legs and was severely dehydrated. This is one of those things I simply can't bring myself to forgive. I discussed it with him later, and he was and continues to be sure that he did the right thing, which baffles me.