|
Worst food you've ever had
I just had something called "Macababies Mini Pizzas." Now, I'll try to ignore the bastardizing of a famous figure in Jewish history, nevermind that this product is geared toward orthodox Jews (it's kosher). It is absolutely awful. In fact, I feel sick right now. This product was made for little Jewish kids who need a nice, wholesome, kosher snack after school, and for the mom who's too busy to feed them herself but can't find anything kosher. So the story is, like most kosher mass-market products, that some MIRNF (Mother I'd Rather Not Fuck) pitched the idea and made the first batch of Macababies herself. Yeah, sure. Even if it were true, she's a terrible mother who wants to push her horrible pizza on the rest of the world for an extra buck.
The first thing you notice about this product is that the pizzas are covered in some kind of slimy cheese and they're difficult to get out of the box. Turns out that slimy cheese is Muenster cheese. Why did they choose Muenster? To those few who like Muenster with a sandwich... trust me, it is not a good idea for pizza.
Moving on. After you pop a few in the microwave, you'll notice they look like something you would not want to put your mouth anywhere near. Something happens to the cheese during heating that makes it look unedible, to say the least. Sorry, but I don't have a picture to show you. Did I mention I threw out my first batch of Macababies days ago? The coagulated cheese was why. I thought that maybe it had E. coli or something. But I was desperate enough to try it again tonight.
Then you notice the smell. If you like your pizza smelling (and tasting) like a mixture of plastic and cardboard, this in the pizza for you. I, however, do not. The first few bites also taste distinctly of a ridiculous infusion of sugar. Almost desperate. Like they knew this product sucked and thought "Oh, we'll just add some more sugar" would save it.
Bottom line: Don't go anywhere near this crap. I only did because I like to try and discover new foods. This was a mistake. I don't know what's more sickening: assholes who want to squeeze the earnings from people desperate for kosher products, or this disgusting piece of shit called "Macababies Mini Pizzas."
__________________
Become an organ donor
|