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First thing is to find an Al-Anon meeting group. They are the best suited people for what you are going through. You'll learn all that you can and don't control. They'll also be able to point you in the right diretion in terms of what options you may have regarding the kids. Sadly, probably not many until social services understands the big picture or unless you have a lot of money to put into legal fees.
Al-Anon ...Google it and find a meeting today!
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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.
Stangers have the best candy.
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