tabykat178

Today has been a grand day! Ha...yeah right! Today I get a phone call from my grandmother telling me that she just found out that my mother is still on cocaine. Oh yay...

See...she went to rehab about four years ago for alcoholism and cocaine addiction. When she came out, supposedly she was clean, and I can personally say I've never seen her drink after that. Apparently she has been doing the cocaine since she got out of rehab...her and her husband both.

What pisses me off the most is that my little sisters are living with her!!! There are three of them and they range in ages from four to nine! I don't want them anywhere near someone doing a drug like that! I've done some research on it, and it can cause some pretty bad stuff!

Another thing that pisses me off really bad, and this sounds so selfish but it really does make me mad, is the fact that in all of my personal statements that I had sent out to colleges (this was about a year or two after she got out of rehab and my senior year) I said that my mom was my hero because she had gone through all that and conquered it. Well...now I find out that that was total BULL SHIT!!!

So...the question I am putting out here is how would you handle something like this? I've tried to talk to her and make her see how much money for the kid's christmas her and her husband could have if they didn't do it, but it just doesn't help. My youngest sister just got kicked out of daycare because my mom couldn't pay for it because she was getting her drugs. Nothing gets through to her, and she refuses to go to rehab again, but I know she isn't strong enough to get out of this addiction by herself!!!

Ugh...

Answers anyone?

World's King

Be there for her whenever she needs you.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

analog

Is there anyone else in the family who can care for those kids? A grandparent? Anyone? Get those kids out of that house.

Manic_Skafe

Exactly. It seems like a tough situation to be in but it's got to be especially bad for the children.

tabykat178 are you in any way capable of caring for these kids if need be?

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

blktour

you can't help someone that is not willing to change. seems to me that she doesn't intend to stop.

so try to find a way to get those kids out of there.

thingstodo

First thing is to find an Al-Anon meeting group. They are the best suited people for what you are going through. You'll learn all that you can and don't control. They'll also be able to point you in the right diretion in terms of what options you may have regarding the kids. Sadly, probably not many until social services understands the big picture or unless you have a lot of money to put into legal fees.

Al-Anon ...Google it and find a meeting today!

__________________
If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

guthmund

Spot on. It's a shitty situation from any angle, but at this point, it seems getting the kids out would be first priority. I'd focus on that before the coke habit. After all, you can't pull someone out of a hole like that unless they're willing to pull a little themselves and she doesn't seem to want to bear that burden.

__________________
No signature. None. Seriously.

tabykat178

Well...my grandmother has taken the kids now. My mom still refuses to go back to rehab though, but at least my sisters are out.

masfina

Hope you go to some group for some support... for YOU, to help you deal. Like Al-Anon [or Nar-Anon], as someone else here mentioned. There is also Narcotics Anonymous, where you could reach out to folks who might have been where your mom is now and are now doing better.

Your [the ones a little older] sisters, too, could benefit by going with you. There are Al-Anon meetings out there for kids, too.

Hope your mom finds recovery.. maybe your sisters' moving out is a first step.. Often things need to get worse before they can get better.

__________________
If you love someone... Set them free. - Sting

guthmund

That's excellent news. It's hard watching someone so close (even if you're not close, she's still "Mom") go through shit like that. All you can really do is keep gently nudging her and to be there for her when (or if) she decides to do something about it.

__________________
No signature. None. Seriously.