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Originally Posted by Martian
2) You don't have to have something wrong with you to go see a therapist. Or, if you prefer, we all have things wrong with us; whichever way you'd rather look at it works. Regardless, a therapist's job is to help you sort out issues just like this one, in order to be happier and healthier overall. There's a huge stigma attached to the idea of therapy that really isn't deserved. I've seen a therapist in the past and a large number of our members here see one regularly. That doesn't mean we're crazy, have issues or are in any way abnormal; it just means that we see the value in discussing our problems with a neutral third party.
Since you're in college there's probably a program available to you to allow you to see a therapist at a reduced cost. You shouldn't be afraid to avail yourself of it; you may be surprised at what you can learn.
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Thanks, Martian... you beat me to it. match, do you really think only "crazy" people go to therapy? That's not what I meant at all. Practically every grad student I know has been in counseling, and it's not because we're crazy. It's because grad school basically sucks ass, in a lot of ways, and if you don't take care of your mental health, you end up in very bad situations, far worse than the one you're currently in. It just keeps building up and building up, if you don't nip it in the bud early enough.
In my 2 years in group therapy, we had quite a few people in the group who had exactly the same issue as you do. They were very passive-aggressive, and could not communicate properly with their colleagues without either blowing up or hunkering down into themselves, neither of which were very good solutions (as you have noticed). Luckily, they were wise (and humble) enough to see that they could benefit from therapy, and so they came. Through the group process, they learned and practiced ways of addressing difficult people head on, in a calm, assertive manner... it took time, but by the end, they had the tools they needed to go out and have much more productive grad school careers.
That's the point of therapy. Lots of us have done it, as Martian said. I think those of us who have done it are generally far better off for it, from what I have read on TFP. Grad school is actually one of the best times to get into counseling, because usually your university provides it for free (or cheaply), which is something you will never be as lucky to find in the real world.