match000

I guess as you guys have pointed out, I am being too passive-agressive. I think the original point of my post was that I want to learn how to *stop* being a passive-aggressive person (a pushover / stonewaller). There seems to be 2 options:

1) assert myself. (as most people have recommended)
2) feign liking and mask dislike (as JinnKai pointed out)

For option 1), my problem with being assertive or being passive-aggressive is that I am extreme on both ends: when I try to assert myself, my facial tones come off too strongly and I am way too confrontational; there is no way of being "nicely but strongly" assertive. I think this is something I need to work on..?

But what I am thinking is most beneficial in *most situations in life* is option 2). As JinnKai said, if you can truly *not let it get to yourself*, and also have a complete "nice mask", you can start manipulating people into your social pawns. Its not nice to be manipulative, but if they are going to be treating you like shit, why not?

This is pretty hard to do; if you are nice, they might still be asses.. it takes skill and patience I guess. So.. how do you go about doing this?? What's the best way to practice?

Abaya, your suggestion about going to a counselor to practice being assertive was good. However.. that's a little too "shrinkish" for me; I don't think there's anything wrong wiht myself to that degree..!

Also, I think that going to "HR" or the "management" (i use quotes since I'm actually in grad school), will probabl backfire. I think that what would happen if you go to management with issues like this is: 1) they think your a wuss who needs to "tattle-tale" 2) they think you can't deal with other people yourself 3) they think your a crybaby

I was actually trying to do this except it does eventually get annoying. And I guess my skin isnt thick enough then?? Cuz if it were, it really shouldnt get annoying, as u pointed out..