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Originally Posted by Charlatan
Here's the thing... what you are advocating is passive aggressive behaviour.
Hiding your emotions or how you really feel about someone is *not* the way to go.
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For once, I completely disagree with you Charlatan. I think there is a very dramatic difference between being passive aggressive and pretending to like someone. Passive aggressiveness is very obvious - it's the snobby looks, the backstabbing, petty bickering, or ignoring someone completely. To the reciever, it's very visible.. I can tell when someone is trying to manipulate me with passive aggressiveness. The best way to counteract it, I've noticed, is to act like you don't see it at all.
Pretending to like someone, on the other hand, can be completely transparent. I'm a very emotive person, but I'm also very well aware of my facial expressions and my body language, because I've been surrounded by passive aggressive people all of my life. I can pretend very convincingly that I like someone and enjoy their company, and similarly pretend that I'm oblivious to their passive-aggressive actions. Executed routinely enough over a long period of time, and the passive aggressive person will simply stop acting that way to me. It's much the same to a schoolyard bully who calls you a "wimp" everytime you see him. If your face, body language or speech conveys that it bothers you when he uses it, he'll continue to do so. But as soon as you can convincingly ignore the jeer, it has no power of you. He can say it all he wants, but it doesn't have the desired (bullying) effect. Soon afterwards, he'll either stop calling you names, or he'll select another insult.
If someone is going to be passive aggressive towards me, or if it's clear that someone doesn't like me (for whatever reason), I opt to pretend that I like them. I'll kill them with kindness, especially if they might have an effect on my life in any form. The people who want to treat me like shit will simply be used as pawns in my life when it suits me, and be none the wiser.