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Old 11-15-2007, 02:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
abaya
 
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Location: Iceland
Are you generally a passive-aggressive person? I agree with Charlatan on that assessment.

Be assertive. I know it's hard in a grad student environment (I had a group office exactly like yours, my first year in grad school), but obviously these dudes are assholes and you are getting nowhere by tolerating their behavior with your silence.

In my opinion, you ought to have addressed coworker A immediately after he made a joke about your girlfriend being ugly. It seems that ever since then, he has decided that you're not going to stand up for yourself, so he and the other guys are just going to walk all over you.

And you're continuing to let them to do that, as long as you stand down and avoid confrontation/conflict. (I am not talking about starting a fight; I mean just standing up for yourself, both verbally and with your attitude.)

If you're having trouble being assertive, then I suggest you get into counseling. It's a good, safe place to practice those skills until you're ready to use them in real life.
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