Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Social skills - feigning indifference / masking dislike [of someone]

match000 · 11-15-2007, 01:10 AM

So.. when you don't like someone, I've recently found that the best way is to feign liking / indifference, or at least mask your dislike of them. Because if you don't, you make one more enemy... who can get nasty (ie backstabbing). I tend to be someone who cannot hide my emotions, so when I am angry / pissed, its written all over my face no matter how hard I try. When I dislike someone, apparently I've been told its also written all over my face.

The context is that back in summer, me and a few coworkers were hanging out, and (I posted a thread about this this summer) my coworker "A" who is an ass makes a lewd joke about my girlfriend ("I'd only do her after 6 drinks"). So basically I ignored this guy afterwards while remaining civil at work (saying hi, small chit-chat, etc). However, he's been hanging out since summer with 2 senior coworkers of mine ("B" and "C"), and I believe he has been backstabbing me somehow because I slowly feel that B and C have some dislike towards me that has developed slowly since then..

such as C *loudly* asking other people in the office if they want to grab dinner, but not me. Or when it is just them (A,B,C) in the office and I walk in, they stop talking, and instead discussed about how to 3-way chat in gmail (in front of me). or other things such as excluding me from coworker hangouts (at bars, etc) that they organize. or just how they talk to me, ie condescendingly, etc.

basically, it creates an uncomfortable environment for me in our office (9 desks total). i've been trying hard to be civil and polite but somehow every time I converse with them, they turn something I say around to make fun of me or embarass me. also they might start poisoining everyone else in the office against me too..

everytime they do something like that, it pisses me off and its written all over my face. i know i shouldnt let it affect me, but i guess i am more sensitive..

so does anyone know how i can learn to hide my emotions? can I learn to smile towards people I dislike? its hard...! or does anyone know what else i can do?

ps. when i say "office" i mean for grad students. i am a grad (23) and "B" is 29 and "C" is 25. "A" is 23. They are pretty immature for 20+ year olds.

11-15-2007, 01:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
match000 Psycho	Social skills - feigning indifference / masking dislike [of someone] So.. when you don't like someone, I've recently found that the best way is to feign liking / indifference, or at least mask your dislike of them. Because if you don't, you make one more enemy... who can get nasty (ie backstabbing). I tend to be someone who cannot hide my emotions, so when I am angry / pissed, its written all over my face no matter how hard I try. When I dislike someone, apparently I've been told its also written all over my face. The context is that back in summer, me and a few coworkers were hanging out, and (I posted a thread about this this summer) my coworker "A" who is an ass makes a lewd joke about my girlfriend ("I'd only do her after 6 drinks"). So basically I ignored this guy afterwards while remaining civil at work (saying hi, small chit-chat, etc). However, he's been hanging out since summer with 2 senior coworkers of mine ("B" and "C"), and I believe he has been backstabbing me somehow because I slowly feel that B and C have some dislike towards me that has developed slowly since then.. such as C loudly asking other people in the office if they want to grab dinner, but not me. Or when it is just them (A,B,C) in the office and I walk in, they stop talking, and instead discussed about how to 3-way chat in gmail (in front of me). or other things such as excluding me from coworker hangouts (at bars, etc) that they organize. or just how they talk to me, ie condescendingly, etc. basically, it creates an uncomfortable environment for me in our office (9 desks total). i've been trying hard to be civil and polite but somehow every time I converse with them, they turn something I say around to make fun of me or embarass me. also they might start poisoining everyone else in the office against me too.. everytime they do something like that, it pisses me off and its written all over my face. i know i shouldnt let it affect me, but i guess i am more sensitive.. so does anyone know how i can learn to hide my emotions? can I learn to smile towards people I dislike? its hard...! or does anyone know what else i can do? ps. when i say "office" i mean for grad students. i am a grad (23) and "B" is 29 and "C" is 25. "A" is 23. They are pretty immature for 20+ year olds. Last edited by match000; 11-15-2007 at 01:14 AM..