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Originally Posted by ratbastid
That spectrum he lays out is bullshit. It's not "nice guy---middle ground---jerk". A better spectrum (if you absolutely have to think of it as a spectrum) would be:
"emotionally immature wuss---confident grown man---socially immature asshole".
Be a confident grown man. Grow up and don't be a wuss or an asshole. And sensitivity and lovability have NOTHING to do with the wuss-to-asshole spectrum. I know plenty of sensitive, lovable assholes.
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I think from a self help aspect its right on.
Most guys being 'nice guys' are not emotionally immature wusses but treating women the way they think they like to be treated. You let them know you are interested, you do things to help them out, you listen to their conversation, you call to see how they are, etc. This of course rarely works.
To overcome this you need to break the habit of being nice and switch to being a bit aloof. You go too far and you are a jerk.
After you are IN a relationship you can let your guard down a bit.