Originally Posted by Ustwo

Time for some Ustwo advice.

First, welcome to growing up, both of you. Few people under 30 get it, and you guys are there/approaching it, you figure out what you like and what you really ARE after this point. No one younger really believes it, but ask them after.

So you are in a quiet more introspective place and shes in a TOGA TOGA place. You have a lot of extra work, and just chilling seems like fun, she is most likely bored at work and want to feel 'alive'.

These life styles are NOT compatible long term, and you know this otherwise you wouldn't be posting in the first place.

She wants to do those things she hasn't and now that shes a bit older than 'kid' her inhibitions are going. Yes I think she wants a threesome, girls don't talk about how hot other women are to their spouses unless thats on their mind. The fact that shes the aggressive on in bed isn't a good sign for you either if you are unwilling to go along.

Shes trying to get more out of life which seems pretty boring I'd guess with you doing so much schooling and being in her view 'boring'.

Now for my advice. Go for the ride and be part of her getting this out of her system or I'd think you have a good chance of her getting this out of her system with someone else. They want you to be a part of this, so rather then being a wet rag, go and have a little fun with stupid conversation and a few drinks. I agree cigarette smoke sucks, but you can survive. If you wife was sick and in the hospital you wouldn't abandon her, well while shes not 'sick' shes feeling some needs that you need to attend to even if its not fun for you.

Be open yourself to some new experiences, and if she wants a threesome with another woman, count your blessings. Otherwise you might find yourself wondering why she didn't come home one night when lust and alcohol played a part in her 'going for it' with some other guy/couple/whatever.

Now from her, you need to get some concessions as well. Schooling is important, and you need to get a compromise where shes not going out on a constant basis. Get her to limit it to Friday/Saturday when you can join, and if she just go out on say a Monday when you have a test to study for get her to PROMISE to be home by a set time.

I know I trust my wife explicitly and what I don't trust are other people. As such thats how I would approach this, you are worried about her not that you want to control her.

Finally as for the alcohol, I hear you brother, but I think we are in a minority. I can do crazy uninhibited stuff completely sober, in fact I usually do, but a lot of people seem to need it almost as an excuse to unwind. Many of these people are pretty much functional alcoholics, which seems to work for them, but I have no need for. 'I was drunk' is a great excuse in the minds of a lot of people, so sure I got naked in the hot tub but 'I was drunk', that sort of thing.

If you do this right, this could be a great time for you, but always make sure your together fun time is greater than your apart time. You are currently drifting apart, its time to save it.