Been there, done that. As the others who have also been through this have said, there are huge red flags everywhere, and it doesn't sound like either of you are happy. Did you guys ever break up or have a break while you were dating?
I'd be careful with making statements like this to her:
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Tell her how you feel....tell her how utterly ridiculous she is making herself look....ask her why she's trying SO hard to not to appear married.
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I said similar things to my girl at the time, and it just made her feel like she was being judged. When I got upset because she was spending so much time with her coworkers, she just felt like I was trying to control her. I told her how I felt, but unfortunately, my story ends the same as the others. We broke up.