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Seen it all before and it's not good.
Your relationship is in serious trouble if for no other reason than neither of you are happy. Until the underlying cause of this is addressed, she'll continue to drink, smoke and ogle waitresses without you, and you'll continue to be in a "woe is me" mode.
Either you two need to get on the same page or you're in for misery.
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Si vis pacem parabellum.
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