newlyable

Granted that I am almost 9months pregnant and not the easiest person to be around. Last December I got out of a very long and serious relationship. I was devasted to the point that I couldnt imagine my life ever getting better. I threw myself into a much to fast relationship. I started dated this guy that I had dated off and on for about 5 years. It was alright I guess you could say for awhile. Partying having a good time, not really giving a shit about what I would eventually get myself into. We got engaged, WTF was I thinking. A month later I found out I was pregnant, and I didnt want to have this baby out of wed lock. So I married a complete asshole, control freak. My mother tried to get me to end the marriage a month after it had began. I am now living with my parents, me, my husband, mom, step-father ( another complete ass), and my 2 younger siblings. I can't move out because although my husband brings home 2000.00 a month we have shit to show for it, but all his debt. So here I am my mom working 6on, 8off 12hr shifts, and my playing mother to my brother 4 and sister 3. I clean, cook, give baths, do laundry. Only to turn around and do it all over again the very next day. I feel like I am losing my freaking mind. The worst part, is when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter ( whom Is the only thing I am excited about) I prayed that my ex would for some reason beg for me back. Sad I know. I do this everyday. I think about him, I dream about him. I spend my wedding day hoping he would walk into the church and annouce that he objected. None of which happened obviously. I feel like im in way over my head, very depressed, and on a spiral of down falls. I cant decide if I should go back to school and month after my daughter is born , or go to work. Maybe if I went to work things would get better financially I dont know. I am major need of advice and a big slap in the face I dont know. This is far from being an organized vent, but I had to get it out. Advice Please!