Now, before any sensitive person of Jewish descent gets offended, guess what? I lost an assload of family in the same camps in WW deuce, know what that means? Yeah, zyklon b, I can go there
I'm talking to a the bride to be about Judaism
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ziadel2001: omfg
HebrewPrincess: wha?
ziadel2001: theres 613 commandments in the Torah!?
ziadel2001: jesus christ
HebrewPrincess: and i'm sure i've broken most of them
ziadel2001: bah
ziadel2001: rules are made to be broken
HebrewPrincess: agreed
ziadel2001: eeep
ziadel2001: you're supposed to fear god
HebrewPrincess: wha???
HebrewPrincess: fear is fo suckas'
ziadel2001: To fear Him reverently (Deut. 6:13; 10:20)
ziadel2001: Number 8
ziadel2001: I fear nothing!
ziadel2001: with the exception of villagers with pitchforks
ziadel2001: they terrify me
ziadel2001: ok
ziadel2001: this is weird
ziadel2001: you cant castrate males of any species
ziadel2001: this includes domesticated animals
HebrewPrincess: you should support that\
ziadel2001: an un-castrated cow is a bull
ziadel2001: and they're mean
ziadel2001: they usually castrate them so they are not dangerous
ziadel2001: the only time they dont is when they want it for rodeo crap and bull fighting
ziadel2001: and chasing silly spaniards
HebrewPrincess: right
ziadel2001: Another rule is you cant commit sodomy with a male
ziadel2001: so apparently it still cool to do a girl up to butt
ziadel2001: heheheh
HebrewPrincess: i wont put anything in his but
HebrewPrincess: he might get mine one day thou
HebrewPrincess:
ziadel2001: I'm sure the rabbi will be quite relieved
ziadel2001: oh its not that bad!
HebrewPrincess: i had a finger once
HebrewPrincess: not that great
ziadel2001: try a tiny tiny tiny
ziadel2001: I mean like pencil thin vibrator
ziadel2001: thats the best way to get a gal into it
HebrewPrincess: well it was a doc looking for internal bleeding
ziadel2001: oh
HebrewPrincess: i guess not he best place to stat judging
ziadel2001: well, that might have had something to do with why you didnt like it
ziadel2001: typically, no one like having strange people put stuff up their butt
HebrewPrincess: i dont mind when i go to the gyno
HebrewPrincess: i feel naughty
ziadel2001: hahahahha
HebrewPrincess: hehehe
ziadel2001: My shrink told me something about that once
HebrewPrincess: uh oh
ziadel2001: at temple they say thank god I'm not a woman at some point he said
ziadel2001: cause it would suck having to hop in the stirrups
HebrewPrincess: its not so bad
ziadel2001: I dunno, it was just one of those weird things he told me
ziadel2001: # 162 - Not to eat the flesh of an ox that was condemned to be stoned
ziadel2001: dont eat the crazy ass cows
ziadel2001: the sane ones taste better
HebrewPrincess: gotcha
ziadel2001: I'm looking for the one about rolling on shabbas
ziadel2001: #365 - That a man shall not wear women's clothing
ziadel2001: Eddies fucked
HebrewPrincess: oh no
ziadel2001: I cant believe this was a problem 4,000 years ago
ziadel2001: and there is STILL a social stigma about it
HebrewPrincess: send me this link
HebrewPrincess: pleez
ziadel2001: http://www.jewfaq.org/613.htm
ziadel2001: theres also a lot of info here
ziadel2001: http://www.jewfaq.org/index.htm
ziadel2001: er
ziadel2001: yeah
HebrewPrincess: did they really have to be that specific of who not to commit incest with?
ziadel2001: yeah, I was weondering about that
HebrewPrincess: cant even crave something thats someone elses
ziadel2001: yeah
ziadel2001: mind crime
ziadel2001: hehehhe
ziadel2001: # 514 - Not to offer up a blemished beast that comes from non-Israelites
ziadel2001: if its a cow with three legs that belongs to a Jew, its cool
ziadel2001: but no second rate gentile goods for sacrificing :-P
ziadel2001: lotta leper hate in here too
ziadel2001: and apprently a women on her period is as bad as a leper
HebrewPrincess: i see that
ziadel2001: grape hate too
ziadel2001: very thorough on the personal grooming as well
ziadel2001: #593 - That the Nazarite shall permit his hair to grow
ziadel2001: followed by #594 - That the Nazarite shall not cut his hair
ziadel2001: no wiggle room there
HebrewPrincess: i know
ziadel2001: unless
HebrewPrincess: no loopholes here
ziadel2001: we can find a way to stop hair from growing
ziadel2001: well
ziadel2001: no
ziadel2001: damnit
ziadel2001: well, what if you permit your hair to grow, but it just doesnt/
ziadel2001: like someone electrolyses you against your will?
HebrewPrincess: that might be forgivable
ziadel2001: I'm surprised theres not a rule about it in here
ziadel2001: I keep reading expecting this to start covering things like re-gifting and double parking
ziadel2001: #609 - To have a place outside the camp for sanitary purposes
ziadel2001: (poop in the bathroom)
ziadel2001: #610 - To keep that place sanitary
ziadel2001: (dont forget to flush)
HebrewPrincess: hahahahahahha
ziadel2001: its so specific!
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