little_tippler

I have a few male friends who I really love as friends, and who are great, interesting, caring people - they'd make great partners. But I feel no physical chemistry with them.

Similarly, I have met several physically gorgeous men who had horrible personalities, that totally turned me off.

I think you have to like both the inside and the outside for things to work, but what keeps a relationship going in the longterm is clearly personality.

Of course, happily, we do meet a few people throughout our lives that fit the bill for each of us on both counts!

Sadly, I have often wanted to and willed myself to be attracted to male friends who have amazing personalities, but who I'm not physically attracted to, and it just can't be done.

I have a secret for you: you don't actually choose who you fall in love with, even though you may think so

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918