Mitch Hedberg Tribute
This is a tribute to Mitch Hedberg one of the greatest standup comics of the last decade. Mitch died of a drug overdose in March 2005.
"I got into and argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up real quick? ZIP ZIP fuck you."
"This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be a bitch."
"I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said your gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit. As if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flamable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."
"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never seen an Escalator temporarily out of order sign, just Escaloaor temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
"Alcoholism, is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. Dammit Otto, your an alcoholic. Dammit Otto, you have Lupis. One of those two doesn't sound right."
"When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two , and if no one answers they'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two. Bu then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. Bush party of three. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes, No one seems to care, who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now ,with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry.That's a double whammy! We need help! Bush search party of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes."
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