Sorry to bring the negative side of this 'nonconsensual sex' scenario, but I wanted to chime in distinctly remember hearing about an episode of
Dr. Phil where the female of this one relationship was under the adamant impression that she had not had sexual relations with her husband in four months. Much to her surprise, she became hysterical when she discovered she was pregnant, wondering how this was possible at all. Much to her surprise and disgust, after a personal and eye-opening confrontation, the husband had admitted to having sex with her at night without her knowing for a fairly-lengthy duration of time. She felt extremely betrayed and violated. She no longer was able to trust the man whom she had married, who had essentially raped her every night because in his distorted mind, he found it an easier task to accomplish than to awaken her, ask if she was in the mood, and have his sexual advances subsequently rejected for whatever reason. Such was
his solution.
EDIT:
Failing to find the particular episode, I did however find a precursor to the issue of 'spousal rape' when Dr. Phil McGraw was on Larry King Live. Excerpts here:
Interview with Dr. Phil McGraw
click to show
Aired February 3, 2005 - 21:00 ET
KING: Take another call for Dr. Phil.
Santa Barbara, California, hello. Santa Barbara, are you there?
Santa Barbara.
CALLER: Yes, I'm here. Dr. Phil...
KING: Yes, go -- yes, go ahead.
CALLER: Dr. Phil, I think it's great that your show addresses domestic violence and spousal abuse quite often. I watch your show.
MCGRAW: Thank you.
CALLER: However, I wish my husband would have broken my arm or punched me in the nose, and that it was something people could actually see. I'm a victim of emotional and the worst kind of physical violence against a woman, which is rape. I've never heard you speak about spousal rape, Dr. Phil. I live in a community where there is, you know, very wealthy people, and I went to rape crisis, and I was practically thrown out. Nobody understands the fact that my husband raped me for 20 years. And I know...
KING: Are you still married?
CALLER: ... Larry King, don't ask him why I stayed with him, because Dr. Phil, tell him why women stay in a situation like that.
KING: I'll ask it with a further question, a husband can rape a wife?
MCGRAW: Absolutely. Just because you fill out some paperwork down at the courthouse doesn't mean that you give up the right to control your body, the right to control access to your body.
KING: Why don't people believe her? Why don't...
MCGRAW: I'm not sure who she's been talking to, but, you know, the problem is, when you are abusing someone, the primary tool of the abuser is isolation. They get the victim to themselves, where they don't have resources, they don't have people that will support them that they can reach out to. And what abuse victims have to do, is to find those resources and take that step to reach out. I've talked to so many women who have said, you know, I'm physically abused by my husband. I need to stand up and get in his face and tell him not to. That's the absolute wrong thing to do. If you do that, you will get beat up severely. You may get hurt. You may get killed. What you have to do is learn what your resources are. Reach out to the women shelters, reach out to your church, to your family. I promise you that if this woman reaches out to responsible people at her church or at her community services and shelters, they will listen, they will help.
KING: Have you done a show on marital rape?
MCGRAW: we have not done show on spousal rape, but it is certainly on our radar screen to do.
KING: Doctor, always a great pleasure. Look forward to the next visit.
MCGRAW: Larry, thank you so much.
Such stories as this really does put a halt on my ability to fantasize about "Schnozzing while she is snoozing", or actions further.
