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filtherton · 09-23-2007, 10:32 AM

infinite loser

Nobody called me a bad parent. I just get annoyed with people who think they can, based on the bare minimum of information, judge the parenting abilities of a complete stranger (aside from the examples shani listed.)

Sion

You didn't really say anything there. All you basically said is that a good parent is one who conforms to your arbitrary definitions of a good parent. That's partly my point. I'm not saying i don't agree with your idea of what a parent should do on a personal note. There are a lot of instances where a parent should not support their child financially or emotionally - think if the kids an addict. Supporting them thusly is generally the exact opposite of what one would do if one actually wanted to help the kid out of their problem.

analog

Here's the thing. There exists a form of knowledge that can only be derived through experience. The idea that fertilizing an egg makes one more able to talk about being a parent is stupid and it has absolutely nothing to do with why you aren't in a position to talk about certain aspects of parenthood. Obviously anyone can talk about what its like to be a parent, and what it means to be a parent. That doesn't mean that everyone has anything interesting to say.

It isn't the act of fertilizing an egg that makes one eminently qualified to speak as a parent. It is the experience of parenting. You do not have any experience parenting - you aren't a parent, and to my knowledge you haven't ever been one. The reason why people dismiss you when you talk about what it means to be a good parent is because the very nature of your opinions betray the fact that you don't know what the fuck you are talking about. I'm sorry that this is so difficult to understand for you.

It's the same reason i don't get tax advice from any of my friends. It isn't because they aren't as smart as a CPA, or that they aren't willing to offer tax advicet, it is because they don't know what the fuck they are talking about when it comes to taxes.

If you went out and fertilized an egg, it would not be the fact that you fertilized an egg that would make you more qualified to speak about parenting (the fact that you think seem to think this idea worth repeating indicates to me that you don't know anything about being a parent), it would be the fact that after a certain period of time you would be parent and would thusly have experiences associated and experiential knowledge associated with parenthood.

For instance, the thread about underage girls in porn; there are very few parents, and none that i am personally in contact with, that would associate a teenager posting nude pictures of themselves on the internet as being the sole result of bad parenting. This isn't because they are objectively smarter than you, this isn't because they are predisposed as parents to avoid acknowledging the failings of other parents, it is because they know how difficult it is to instill certain things in a child, and how difficult it is to compete with all of the other different ideas and perspectives that a child is exposed to. The fact that you can chalk it up solely to bad parenting- so much so that you imply that anyone who doesn't is intellectually dishonest- is a reflection of the fact that you are talking about something you fundamentally don't understand. It isn't the fact that you don't have a child, per se, that makes your opinion worthless, it's that you aren't any kind of authority on the subject.

Shani

It is easy to say, as far as some things go, what a good parent is not. In some places honor killings are considered good family policy, so it goes to show you never can tell.

The vast majority of things are toss-ups. Those kids running around in applebees? I wouldn't assume their parents are bad. It is quite possible that mom and/or dad are exhausted. Kids are also annoying sometimes.

pig

Yes, it's kind of like that.

09-23-2007, 10:32 AM	#22 (permalink)
filtherton Junkie Location: In the land of ice and snow.	infinite loser Nobody called me a bad parent. I just get annoyed with people who think they can, based on the bare minimum of information, judge the parenting abilities of a complete stranger (aside from the examples shani listed.) Sion You didn't really say anything there. All you basically said is that a good parent is one who conforms to your arbitrary definitions of a good parent. That's partly my point. I'm not saying i don't agree with your idea of what a parent should do on a personal note. There are a lot of instances where a parent should not support their child financially or emotionally - think if the kids an addict. Supporting them thusly is generally the exact opposite of what one would do if one actually wanted to help the kid out of their problem. analog Here's the thing. There exists a form of knowledge that can only be derived through experience. The idea that fertilizing an egg makes one more able to talk about being a parent is stupid and it has absolutely nothing to do with why you aren't in a position to talk about certain aspects of parenthood. Obviously anyone can talk about what its like to be a parent, and what it means to be a parent. That doesn't mean that everyone has anything interesting to say. It isn't the act of fertilizing an egg that makes one eminently qualified to speak as a parent. It is the experience of parenting. You do not have any experience parenting - you aren't a parent, and to my knowledge you haven't ever been one. The reason why people dismiss you when you talk about what it means to be a good parent is because the very nature of your opinions betray the fact that you don't know what the fuck you are talking about. I'm sorry that this is so difficult to understand for you. It's the same reason i don't get tax advice from any of my friends. It isn't because they aren't as smart as a CPA, or that they aren't willing to offer tax advicet, it is because they don't know what the fuck they are talking about when it comes to taxes. If you went out and fertilized an egg, it would not be the fact that you fertilized an egg that would make you more qualified to speak about parenting (the fact that you think seem to think this idea worth repeating indicates to me that you don't know anything about being a parent), it would be the fact that after a certain period of time you would be parent and would thusly have experiences associated and experiential knowledge associated with parenthood. For instance, the thread about underage girls in porn; there are very few parents, and none that i am personally in contact with, that would associate a teenager posting nude pictures of themselves on the internet as being the sole result of bad parenting. This isn't because they are objectively smarter than you, this isn't because they are predisposed as parents to avoid acknowledging the failings of other parents, it is because they know how difficult it is to instill certain things in a child, and how difficult it is to compete with all of the other different ideas and perspectives that a child is exposed to. The fact that you can chalk it up solely to bad parenting- so much so that you imply that anyone who doesn't is intellectually dishonest- is a reflection of the fact that you are talking about something you fundamentally don't understand. It isn't the fact that you don't have a child, per se, that makes your opinion worthless, it's that you aren't any kind of authority on the subject. Shani It is easy to say, as far as some things go, what a good parent is not. In some places honor killings are considered good family policy, so it goes to show you never can tell. The vast majority of things are toss-ups. Those kids running around in applebees? I wouldn't assume their parents are bad. It is quite possible that mom and/or dad are exhausted. Kids are also annoying sometimes. pig Yes, it's kind of like that.