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Originally Posted by ghoastgirl1
But I know there have been times where I really wanna do it and James was just not up to it and yea it's disappointing but they're people too and might just be having a hard time and once they're past that hard time it's all good.
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Tell me about it...i'm however the one with the libido that sags a bit. it's sometimes very frustrating and disappointing for healer but i know he understands...it did take him a while though.
Cos, one night he's be wanting me and "it" and i'd be not wanting the same, instead just some cuddley wuddley type stuff, you know.
i think what i'm trying to say is that i tried the whole give in and just let it happen thing but that wasnt working for both of us, cos my head and heart wasnt in it and in tun that turned him completely off...
i think communication is key here as with many other relationship issues.
you guys just have to figure out when the other is ready and willing and capitalise on that situation.
as for the questions, i dont think it's selfish for one partner to have a "slow" libido and neither is it selfish for them to say no. what i do think is selfish though is the "non-understanding" from partner number two.
it does take time though.