To be honest, I don't think any of these questions can really be answered without getting you and your partner into marriage counseling and getting to the root of the problem. It's really not about sex or saying yes or no, or how many times "should" someone say/do something... there are no rules on this. It comes down to you and your partner, and the dynamic therein. You might get some anecdotal responses here, but none of them would stand up statistically as proof of what "should" be right for you, because of the strong bias we all have towards our own relationships as a standard.
In other words: Don't compare and contrast with others. Go to counseling and work on your (and your partner's) particular issues behind this.
