abaya

Thanks, JJ. I actually started to post another response a few times (keeping with the OP), but every time I got a few lines into it, I felt like I was ranting about my husband... about things that I don't really feel comfortable venting in public. Those are our own issues to deal with, and we work through them in our own way as a couple.

Wouldn't it be better to talk about the ways that we build our partners up as people? That's just as important as working through differences, at least in terms of daily maintenance.

For example, I try to give ktspktsp a strong, deep backrub at least once a week, if not twice. He's bent over a computer at work all day and he gets pretty tight by the end of the week. I also try to be mindful of his need for space (we have a small apartment) and time to relax on the weekends. He makes me coffee to share with him every morning (and cooks most nights!), and we take turns e-mailing each other during the day to stay in touch about our days. I love having that verbal connection with him during the day.

We also try to please each other physically (general touching during the day) and sexually by finding out what the other needs/wants, and communicating what we need/want. If we are having a disagreement, we often just lie down on the bed and talk it out (it helps to be touching or holding each other while we're doing that... keeps the tone softer), and we never raise our voices or say "always" or "never" (particularly with accusations--someone else mentioned this earlier). The one bad habit that both of us have is to get a little passive-aggressive at times, but we usually call each other's bullshit immediately and that defuses things.

I think we really just respect each other a lot, which is the foundation of our relationship. Not to mention we laugh at each other's dorky sense of humor. All that stuff is really essential to keeping us in good shape, I think.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran