MechCow

I'm a 23 year old male. Don't really expect you to care about this story (this is not a boo-hoo thread) but maybe we can both learn from talking about this rather weird experience I had with this girl.

So I was dating this reasonably hot girl who we can call Shelly, just turned 20 and studying graphic design. I loved her a lot, and she loved me. It wasn't a omg you are my soulmate my entire world has turned around since meeting you love - it was a comfortable kind of jigsaw pieces love where we just kind of "fit" together. Neither of us actually made moves on each other initially, which is very unusual for me I like to be the aggressor at first.

There was a guy we'll call Brad who was clearly totally infatuated with her from class but to be honest I didn't think too much about it. He was sort of such a dork and she told me how he had sat her down and told her how much her liked her - I guess I totally shrugged that off because well I thought she was happy with me she had told me that many times. At the time she said no I don't want to be with you I want to be with Joel I love him.

Before I went away snowboarding she was behaving kind of weird but I didn't think much of it because she was an erratic person at the best of times. We had a very uncharacteristic conversation about "Do you want to be with me?" which was uncharacteristic because it is very unlike her to bring up serious issues and there was absolutely no context. I said I love her and loved being around her. She said I was smart, funny and cute which at the time I thought meant yes I want to be with you but in hindsight I think meant you are everything I thought I wanted but I'm not really happy.

Came back from snowboarding and I was very upset with her because I had sent her texts saying that I was missing her and really got no love back. Also I had been heavily abusing coffee and alcohol for the weekend and was falling apart a bit. Had a tense conversation on the phone and she said she was going to drop around the next day.

She came around and told me she was no longer in love with me and wanted either a break or to split up. Totally out of left field for me.

Anyway on Friday of that week I sent her a text saying I wanted to meet up with her. She was very reluctant but I was insistent that it was necessary and she eventually agreed to give me an hour.

We met up and basically I told her I hadn't been paying enough attention to her, had been extremely busy with work and had been putting other priorities ahead of her. I told her I was very sorry, she said she forgave me. We had a great night together playing pool and video games in this dingy bar then headed back to my place.

At my place we kinda hung out drinking a little more and just chatting. Eventually kissing followed and she said she was going to stay the night. I didn't push sex because I knew she was still deciding upon her feelings and I didn't want to think that I brought her back to fuck her. Just as we are going to sleep around midnight she suddenly rushes to the edge of my bed and bursts into tears. I get up to comfort her aware something is majorly wrong but really having no idea what it is. After some prompting she told me that on the weekend I had been away snowboarding she had been very drunk and had had sex with Brad. I have never been cheated on before so this was a bit of a shock, but I basically just calmed her down told her not to take her shoes off and we can talk about it.

I told her that I don't necessarily forgive her yet but with time I'm sure I will, and to be honest I was more happy that it seemed like we weren't breaking up. I didn't really see Brad as a threat so I was hoping her sleeping with him would kind of make him forget about her and move on. The idea she had feelings for him didn't really enter my head which I guess was extremely naive. He had been into her the whole time I had been with her so I didn't really understand what had changed.

We had sex which was actually pretty fucking good for me even though I was physically and emotionally exhausted. In the morning we had quickie sex before saying parting I love you's then I headed off to work and she went to tafe. I had very mixed emotions but was mostly happy and optimistic.

We exchanged a few text's throughout the week. I was giving her space to clear out her head and y'know have the time she needed and whatever. On Friday she sent me a text saying it was over and she was no longer in love with me. She said she felt used by me last time she saw me.

On Monday I asked her whether she was ditching me for Brad. She said yes. I asked her whether she loved him. She said she thought so. We haven't spoken since, she has drawn on my facebook page and poked me on facebook but I don't know what that means so I have been ignoring it.

I dunno - this is weird behaviour yes? Perils of dating young women. Its just a very strange situation because we got on so well and had a good time together. I think at the end of the day when she realised I was analytical and Brad was the artist, she chose the artist.