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She sounds like a better friend than that. Good friends don't judge you like that. It may be tough for you, but invite her over. If it makes you feel better, give her a warning that you have kids and because of that there may be some toys around. I'm sure she'll understand that.
The way you get over that is to just give it a try and see how it goes. Once you see that she won't judge you for the toys being out and the house not being spotless, you'll be more comfortable and confident. And if she does judge you, then it was pretty shallow of her to do. She's your friend, and she knows you have kids, so I think she'll be pretty understanding about it though.
__________________
"Fuck these chains
No goddamn slave
I will be different" ~ Machine Head
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