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Yeah, I think we all know the answer to this.
There's only one problem, HFrankenstein used the word addicted, yournamehere (my favorite TFP name btw ;-)) repeated bad habit, I am pretty hooked. It's like smoking, or getting drunk on weekends. I try not to do it, and I always end up coming back. That's her power over me.
NetterButter, thanks for the support.
I have to admit, I'm not totally innocent in any of this, I actually like fighting with her, and did dump her the first time because she wouldn't be my girlfriend. So I admit some responsibility here.
I guess what happens is that I tell her how much I like her, and she reciprocates, but then when I want to talk about it, she tends to push me away. So I always think that she really wants to be with me, she just doesn't say it. She insists this isn't true, but I've always been under the impression that if you tell someone that you like them, and want to be with them, and they don't feel the same way, then they tend to be really uncomfortable around you all of the time, and a friendship doesn't work. Yet even now she doesn't seem uncomfortable around me, or avoid me. This would be so much easier if she would just get rid of me. I don't know why she doesn't do it. I guess in a lot of ways it's very difficult for me to believe that this isn't going to happen, because she refuses to do that. Anyway, we're talking soon, maybe tommorow, and I'm going to tell her that I'm tired of the double standard, that I have control in this relationship, that if I like her and want to be with her, that I'm not going to be ashamed of that feeling, and she needs to decide yes or no. No matter what, I'm saying fuck the rules. We either need to both try and hash our issues out (and it could be very painful), or she needs to stop dragging me through the mud.
Has anyone else ever felt like this? I'd swear I'm in love with her if it didn't hurt so much.
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Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
Frederich Nietzsche
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