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gsta · 08-15-2007, 10:08 PM

Hi everyone,

I recently started getting involved with a girl in a semi-long distance relationship and recently had a situation come up and am in need of advice.

First off we're both young (she's 18 I'm 20) and have been talking to each other since last October. Started off at friends and clicked immediately. I met her through one of my good friends and we started talking and it escalated from there.

A couple months after we met she decided to go out with a guy she had known since a kid which was fine, I still considered us just friends and was fine with that. They went out for about a month and she would constantly text/call me and talk to me and eventually her boyfriend at the time got angry and they began to argue pretty often and broke up a week later.

A couple months after that, she started to come on strong to me and I was reluctant and kind of stand off at first kind of weary of her and her boyfriend still (had heard they were talking again but it wasn't true) but after a couple weeks gave in and began to develop more and more feelings for her. And ever since then (6 months) we've been together and doing well.

Recently she has had to move out of her home and into a friends house where there is an older guy living there with them (it's her friends brother). He's currently married and living there in the meantime between jobs supposedly.

She called me up the other day and told me that he was flirting with her on and off and had began touching her sometimes. I asked her if she told him to stop or resisted at all and she said yes she had but he kept on doing it regardless. Now one thing I should mention is the way she tells people "no" is to try and laugh off the situation and make a joke out of it. She won't flat out say no and push someone away for whatever reason.

She called back again the next day and told me he had pulled her aside in their garage and had pushed her up against the wall and began kissing her forcing himself on her and asked her for sex. She then said she left the garage and called me later about it.

Now as soon as she told me this story I immediately had a feeling of something wasn't right with the story at all. It was an instinct feeling that I still can't shake and that my friends and family (that I've talked to so far) seem to agree with partially.

My feeling is that she isn't being truthful all the way with this. She has a history of playing victim and her friends warned me about that and said she tends to exagerate in situations for attention. I want to believe that this guy actually forced himself and she was resistant the whole time, but for some reason I just can't beleive it all the way.

My thinking is this guy had been flirting with her for a couple months and touching and grabbing her and I told her to do something about it and either tell his sister or call the police or I would handle it. She never did anything about it. So now with my mind running wild I'm starting to think maybe she didn't resist at all and started to go along with it and eventually stopped and said no. We haven't seen each other in a couple months and she tends to be the type that loves affection towards her and craves it very often due to her upbringing (troublesome parents, beatings, etc).

The way she brought it up when we were speaking was quite odd too. She said "I have something I need to tell you but can't yet because I'm near the person". And I asked what it was and I'd like to know. She then said "You're going to be really mad when I tell you". So by now I was just like, what the fuck could this be? And she finally told me and of course I was angry at first but then thought about it after we had hung up and now I'm here.

She prides herself on being very honest and being open with me (as do I), and I've believed everything she has said up until now where I just can't help but think something is up with this.

Am I being rediculous and should I just let this go? Does this sound odd to anyone else? I don't want to start playing stupid childish games and try to figure out if shes lying etc.

Her best friend thinks the story is quite rediculous and that she might be exagerating or she isn't telling the truth and she might have cheated on me willingly.

I'm not sure how to handle this situation the next time we talk because I know for a fact she will bring it up.

Advice?

08-15-2007, 10:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
gsta Upright	Need some advice (long) Hi everyone, I recently started getting involved with a girl in a semi-long distance relationship and recently had a situation come up and am in need of advice. First off we're both young (she's 18 I'm 20) and have been talking to each other since last October. Started off at friends and clicked immediately. I met her through one of my good friends and we started talking and it escalated from there. A couple months after we met she decided to go out with a guy she had known since a kid which was fine, I still considered us just friends and was fine with that. They went out for about a month and she would constantly text/call me and talk to me and eventually her boyfriend at the time got angry and they began to argue pretty often and broke up a week later. A couple months after that, she started to come on strong to me and I was reluctant and kind of stand off at first kind of weary of her and her boyfriend still (had heard they were talking again but it wasn't true) but after a couple weeks gave in and began to develop more and more feelings for her. And ever since then (6 months) we've been together and doing well. Recently she has had to move out of her home and into a friends house where there is an older guy living there with them (it's her friends brother). He's currently married and living there in the meantime between jobs supposedly. She called me up the other day and told me that he was flirting with her on and off and had began touching her sometimes. I asked her if she told him to stop or resisted at all and she said yes she had but he kept on doing it regardless. Now one thing I should mention is the way she tells people "no" is to try and laugh off the situation and make a joke out of it. She won't flat out say no and push someone away for whatever reason. She called back again the next day and told me he had pulled her aside in their garage and had pushed her up against the wall and began kissing her forcing himself on her and asked her for sex. She then said she left the garage and called me later about it. Now as soon as she told me this story I immediately had a feeling of something wasn't right with the story at all. It was an instinct feeling that I still can't shake and that my friends and family (that I've talked to so far) seem to agree with partially. My feeling is that she isn't being truthful all the way with this. She has a history of playing victim and her friends warned me about that and said she tends to exagerate in situations for attention. I want to believe that this guy actually forced himself and she was resistant the whole time, but for some reason I just can't beleive it all the way. My thinking is this guy had been flirting with her for a couple months and touching and grabbing her and I told her to do something about it and either tell his sister or call the police or I would handle it. She never did anything about it. So now with my mind running wild I'm starting to think maybe she didn't resist at all and started to go along with it and eventually stopped and said no. We haven't seen each other in a couple months and she tends to be the type that loves affection towards her and craves it very often due to her upbringing (troublesome parents, beatings, etc). The way she brought it up when we were speaking was quite odd too. She said "I have something I need to tell you but can't yet because I'm near the person". And I asked what it was and I'd like to know. She then said "You're going to be really mad when I tell you". So by now I was just like, what the fuck could this be? And she finally told me and of course I was angry at first but then thought about it after we had hung up and now I'm here. She prides herself on being very honest and being open with me (as do I), and I've believed everything she has said up until now where I just can't help but think something is up with this. Am I being rediculous and should I just let this go? Does this sound odd to anyone else? I don't want to start playing stupid childish games and try to figure out if shes lying etc. Her best friend thinks the story is quite rediculous and that she might be exagerating or she isn't telling the truth and she might have cheated on me willingly. I'm not sure how to handle this situation the next time we talk because I know for a fact she will bring it up. Advice? Last edited by analog; 08-16-2007 at 03:23 AM..