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shAzb0t · 08-06-2007, 11:23 PM

Took a while to gather up enough courage to say this, but I've been a longtime reader and occasional poster here, and believe it or not still feel this is the best place to come for an internal problem like this.

Always have been shy with women--not the type to hook up randomly, though believe me, I've tried. Last year I began dating the first woman that took my virginity (later than most, if not all of my friends), probably due to the fact that she was crazy about me, and that it was my first real relationship in a while, not to mention the fact she thought I was incredible in the bedroom. She laughed at my jokes and the relationship progressed healthily because we started doing things together in moderation. She is incredibly comfortable around me now, and has done hardly anything hurtful to me ever.

After almost a year now, after spending more time with her and learning about her personality, I'm just starting to not be attracted to her anymore, mentally and physically. It's not that she isn't good looking--she looks better than she did when we met--but the physical chemistry outside the bedroom just isn't there. I'm worried that it was a really bad choice to date the first girl who threw herself at me. Here's where the title of the post comes in--she is obsessed with me (talking about all sorts of future commitments), but I'm still in school and frankly had more fun when I was single.

So here's the dilemma--most of the times I've told her I loved her I really meant it, but recently, I've been meaning it more in a sense that I think she's a great girl, but that I don't really want to spend a portion of my life with her. Has anyone else been in this situation? I don't think she'll accept any justification I have for ending the relationship, and I'll be instantly cast into the lake of fire that all other 'asshole men' fall into, that they are liars, hurt women needlessly, etc. Is it selfish if I'm trying to save my credibility, or is it going to happen no matter how smoothly I attempt to break it to her?

Thanks for any insight and I apologize if anything here sounds brutally naive.

08-06-2007, 11:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
shAzb0t Psycho Location: whereever my portable hard drive takes me	Great sex, mediocre everything else Took a while to gather up enough courage to say this, but I've been a longtime reader and occasional poster here, and believe it or not still feel this is the best place to come for an internal problem like this. Always have been shy with women--not the type to hook up randomly, though believe me, I've tried. Last year I began dating the first woman that took my virginity (later than most, if not all of my friends), probably due to the fact that she was crazy about me, and that it was my first real relationship in a while, not to mention the fact she thought I was incredible in the bedroom. She laughed at my jokes and the relationship progressed healthily because we started doing things together in moderation. She is incredibly comfortable around me now, and has done hardly anything hurtful to me ever. After almost a year now, after spending more time with her and learning about her personality, I'm just starting to not be attracted to her anymore, mentally and physically. It's not that she isn't good looking--she looks better than she did when we met--but the physical chemistry outside the bedroom just isn't there. I'm worried that it was a really bad choice to date the first girl who threw herself at me. Here's where the title of the post comes in--she is obsessed with me (talking about all sorts of future commitments), but I'm still in school and frankly had more fun when I was single. So here's the dilemma--most of the times I've told her I loved her I really meant it, but recently, I've been meaning it more in a sense that I think she's a great girl, but that I don't really want to spend a portion of my life with her. Has anyone else been in this situation? I don't think she'll accept any justification I have for ending the relationship, and I'll be instantly cast into the lake of fire that all other 'asshole men' fall into, that they are liars, hurt women needlessly, etc. Is it selfish if I'm trying to save my credibility, or is it going to happen no matter how smoothly I attempt to break it to her? Thanks for any insight and I apologize if anything here sounds brutally naive.