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I think I will tell my boyfriend no matter what, because I can trust him that he does not overreact (maybe just a little bit at first, but he is usually very good in his emotions). But I am not too sure when to tell. He was away for 3 months to work and visit family and we only had telephone and online communication that time. He will be back in Canada tonight. He will maybe stay with his relatives for a while because he needs to give them gifts from his family, also to cure his jetlag. When should I tell?
Hahahaha.... well, the mutual attraction was even before that big project deadline with no sleep. It was a few days before it so I was using that time also to think what to do. I still have no conclusion and dancing in circles, which is why I am writing this to ask advice.
Both relationships are worth it, if at least for friendships.I do not want to lose them even if I return to single and both of them are my friends. It is difficult to judge which is MORE worth it.
My boyfriend's personality has the best feature for being very understanding and tries hard to think about compromise. He has a generous heart and always honest. His honesty is also for the intention of good things instead of hurtful comments or similar things. To go deeper, he is also Chinese so I am more comfortable to speak with him. We also have similar philosophy about family values. All his friends tell me that his is trustworthy and loyal. But I already said our interests are very different. Sometimes I will go watch him play sports but I cannot participate because I injured my hand before so it can be boring. He also does not like it when I ask to go hiking but is happy to spend time with me. The topics we talk are usually about his friends and gossip or cars. Cars is okay, but I would like more variety.
My roommate is a genius, which is why it is so fun to listen and debate. I do not use many words to talk to him, but he can easily understand what my idea or debate is. He is white and we speak mostly English because both our French is poor. He is also honest but his honesty is more for the intention of challenge. He has few friends because of this, but that is okay with me because I already like his close friends. His compassionate heart is more similar to mine because we both like volunteering and have similar ideas that it is a duty to help improve the world. But sometimes he can have strange moods that make me worry because he says it makes him crave drugs while he is trying to quit (just light things, shrooms, pot...). The good thing is that he knows I have asthma so he does not like to smoke anything, including cigarettes, when I am there. He also has different family values that is more individualistic.
But feelings aside, I still feel confused about what I should do morally. I am thinking about a different person while I am still in a relationship. I cannot really blame my roommate for his remarks because I noticed my voice waver and go quiet when I talk about my boyfriend's problems, which I did not say until recently. He previously did not try to court me. I also cannot say there is much fault in my boyfriend. He is truly loyal even in long distance relationship. So now I feel unloyal for thinking like this.
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