Wow. I have not made a thread in this forum for some time.... I have lurked for a while, however.
Anyway, it is finally my turn to ask for advice here.
I have a boyfriend for 2 years. I think it is mostly steady relationship. We have honest and direct communication. We also do our best to try understand each other. My boyfriend accepts me very much and we both sometimes make small changes to habits to compromise. For example, I do not like his friends but I try to be more friendly and social with them. It is usually a long distance relationship because of different university cities. Sometimes, one of us also needs to return to our home country to visit family. We also have interests that are very different. He likes to go shopping and play sports like squash and tennis. I prefer to learn different things and think. He likes city life and I like nature.
I have a roommate that I lived with for 6 months. We did not know each other before until I rented a vacant room inside our building. When we talked to each other, we can talk for a very long time about different subjects. This is something that I do not do with my boyfriend because he is a quiet person. I am also a quiet person and always prefer to listen instead. This was okay at first. My roommate and I thought we were platonic friends. I liked to learn about his opinions and debate very much. Sometimes we will also go hiking without anyone else.
A few days ago, my roommate was extremely depressed and stressed because he had a big project to finish for work. He said I was good company because I listened to him and good for bouncing ideas. He said he will take a vacation immediately after it is done.
One day, he said that I am an "ideal woman" because I did not have material demands and enjoy listening to people talk. He also likes my habits for housework that I don't mind cleaning up things that are not my mess. He complained about his ex-girlfriend for being opposite for a very long time, so I thought at first he was just in his usual moods to rant about women. But when he changed the topic about my boyfriend, I told him that sometimes we have things that do not match. For example, I like to go hiking but my boyfriend prefers city activities. I also do not like that we are both quiet. Then, he tells me I am an "ideal woman" again and I should have someone better. When I looked at him, the way he said it and watched me made me nervous.
Yesterday night until this morning, I stayed awake with him while he was working because I was worried he will get too stressed. He also needed help for computer issues that I can solve. I just sat in the corner to read his work, or sometimes my own books after I finish helping him with one part. Sometimes he took small breaks to chat with me, and most of them are normal topics. But closer to sunrise, we were both tired and acting funny. Sometimes we laughed at stupid things. He tried to ask me questions and make topics about relationships and sound like it was just innocent discussions like we usually have. But his topics were about issues that include demographics for him and me. When he said those topics, I am not sure about my facial reaction or if he saw me. I think I blushed a lot because my heart suddenly beat very fast.
After his work was done, I took a shower to get ready to sleep. He was getting ready for work. When I went out of the bathroom, he was gone but he put his cell phone number on my door, saying he will visit his cousins after work for vacation. He has left for vacation and business trips many times but he never gives me his cell phone number. This is because my landlord lives in the same building so I can just go tell him directly for emergency instead of asking roommates. So I thought this was very strange. His note also said "You can call me if you are bored".
In some ways, I feel guilty. I am not too sure if it is platonic or if I suddenly had a crush after what happened in the 5th paragraph. I have been thinking that it is disloyal to even feel like this when I already have a boyfriend. I try to remind myself that it is a stable relationship. My boyfriend is very good at understanding and accepting, instead of my roommate who likes to challenge ideas. But then I start to think that he is also very quiet and does not like to talk about philosophy or other discussions that my roommate does regularly.
My boyfriend and my roommate are both valuable people to me regardless, but I am not sure what to think or do. What is your advice?
There are maybe more things that I forgot to say since I am typing fast. I will say more if you have questions.