Skettios

Hey guys,

anybody from TFP 3.0 might remember that I had a big long thread about a girl that seemed to like me a lot, but claimed that she wasn't attracted to me.

Well the resolution of that was, I decided she was full of shit, and told her that we were dating or there was no relationship at all.

Then I had to fix her car, and when I was over there we decided we missed each other enough that we should try to be friends. I told her I wouldn't try and make her be my girlfriend, as long as she didn't use me as an emotional security blanket, and make me do all the boyfriend stuff while she fucked around with other people.

So we went out that night, with the agreement in mind, also acknowledging that drinking around each other causes problems. Well we did drink. I tried to keep things under control, she didn't seem to care. We had a very intimate night, talked for a long time at the bar. I comforted her and she told me that she missed me, and really liked me, and that we had something that was really fun. I told her I wanted to keep things there, that that feeling was good enough. Then we talked about this other guy that lives at home, I told her I wasn't jealous of him, but that I didn't want to be with someone who would rather be with someone else, and use that against me. She told me that she liked me as much as she liked that guy. I was about to leave, I didn't believe her, but I stayed because she made a convincing argument. We ended up getting a bottle of wine, and riding bikes to the park. We ended up holding hands and later cuddling on a blanket looking at the stars. That was an extreme violation of the rules, but I couldn't help myself, I'm really into her, and it was her idea, so she was breaking her own rule.

I wrote her a few days later and she's told me that she had fun, but felt really hurt because I dropped her, and didn't want to go through that again. She said that she didn't want to see me on a daily or even weekly basis, she told me the idea that I have feelings for her more than friendship made her uncomfortable.

Well I wrote back and told her that she needs to be consistent with me, and that I'm upset that she won't explore a relationship with me.

I really think this girl has major problems with someone who wants to be with her, just for the sake of her. I think most of the guys she's been with probably try to fuck her and then dump her. In fact, I'm very sure of it. To make matters worse, she's always very angry at her father that did the same thing to her mother.

So I'm left feeling hurt and pissed off again. If she doesn't want to be with me, she should have played by the rules we set up. Whenever I break them, I get chastised, but whenever she does, we don't say anything.

I'm thinking about dropping her again like a bad habit. I'm going to tell her that if she's going to be around me, she had better be comfortable with the fact that I want a relationship. But if I drop her, I'm the bad guy again.

And If I stay with her, and play by her rules, I'm the fool, and I'm going to be hurt and rejected.

What would you guys do?

I've never wanted a relationship more in my whole life, than I have from her, but it's making me go from extreme happiness to extreme depression with every breathe. I think it might have even gotten to the point where I'm beginning to question my own mental health. Please help me.

Also please no Ladder Theory comments, I understand it, and don't believe in it. I don't find it to be particularly helpful to my situation.

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Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche