TotalMILF and Sharon pretty much summed up my reasons for looking at porn, as a guy (which I am). Faba and Kirk had good posts too.
To the OP.... I don't think you're a loser... lots of people get 'stuck' on this one. It can take time to separate the relationship issues and the feelings about porn itself. The kind of porn you describe is out there - it's the crappy kind. There is a lot of porn, and not all of it is heartless.
To TinyDancer: I feel for your confusion. That's tough. Perhaps he is suffering effects of having too much available sex, and is somehow more comfortable with this other outlet, at least some of the time? I once thought I would never turn down sex, but eventually it happened... I think you need to get back in touch with him somehow -- maybe let him control it a bit more. Take this all w/a grain of salt, esp if it doesn't seem appropriate.
