Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
This is true. In my case, I was allowing her to do it. The challenge is overcoming the manipulation and the thinking that, even though a victim, it is you who's doing something wrong. This is especially the case with emotional abuse. Guilt is a big barrier to putting a stop to things; the abuser uses it as a weapon. The best way to look at it is this way: When victims get out of a situation of severe emotional abuse, there is a common result--they have no sense of self. This is why they allow it to happen for so long; they don't have the sense of being that most people do. They live for their abuser. This is a convenient and powerful position for an abuser to be in. Looking back at those seven years of my life, I often ask myself: Why didn't I leave sooner? It's tough thinking about that in hindsight, but at the time, it was because she instilled a strong sense of guilt in me that acted as a barrier against my doing anything that would spur her to ask: "Don't you love me?"
|
I suspect that I'm being emotionally abused. With that said, since you've been through it, may I ask the following:
1. How do you know that what you experienced was actually emotional abuse and not just a slightly bitchy woman?
2. Where is the line between someone with a bad temper and someone who's actually abusive (maybe same as Question 1)
3. What did you eventually do to get out of it?
4. What if it really is me? I've changed the kind of person I am over the years we've been together, and it was such a gradual process that I barely noticed it until an old friend mentioned the other day that I'm *really* a lot of fun when my husband isn't around, but I'm quiet as a mouse when he is.
I realized I'm so quiet around him because I don't want him to embarrass me in front of others by telling me that whatever I said was wrong or that I should hush/say something else/go somewhere else/do something else. Does this make me abused, or has he simply opened my eyes to how annoying I am, so now I know when to keep my mouth shut?
No, but really. He's never hit me, although he has physically restrained me a time or two, and I know he was a total bully as a teenager (before we met). I don't foresee physical abuse, but ...