Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

This is true. In my case, I was allowing her to do it. The challenge is overcoming the manipulation and the thinking that, even though a victim, it is you who's doing something wrong. This is especially the case with emotional abuse. Guilt is a big barrier to putting a stop to things; the abuser uses it as a weapon. The best way to look at it is this way: When victims get out of a situation of severe emotional abuse, there is a common result--they have no sense of self. This is why they allow it to happen for so long; they don't have the sense of being that most people do. They live for their abuser. This is a convenient and powerful position for an abuser to be in. Looking back at those seven years of my life, I often ask myself: Why didn't I leave sooner? It's tough thinking about that in hindsight, but at the time, it was because she instilled a strong sense of guilt in me that acted as a barrier against my doing anything that would spur her to ask: "Don't you love me?"