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There are things which cause this violence katyg and there are things which maintain it. I've observed that generally it is caused because when we are experiencing extreme emotions we can't think very well, so we resort to well learned behaviour. If we came from a violent family then that behaviour is violent. People normally fail to learn from that because they don't want to think about it or because they think the solution is to just not get angry (like that works) and because they don't learn from it, they do the same thing next time. After the pattern is established it is maintained for other reasons such as control, dominance, inability to resolve disputes in other ways etc.
Something worth thinking about. The first time someone is beaten up in a relationship they are a victim. The second time, they are a volunteer.
Your children will learn to behave in the same way if this is the example they are given.
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