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Originally Posted by katyg
Now I am not the sort of woman who would ever accept this sort of behaviour as normal and I sought counselling for my partner and his problems - rather than judge him I wanted to help.
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Originally Posted by willravel
If you were his therapist, that'd be okay. If you're his gf, it's not.
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Excellent point. In my own experience, trying to help would have been a volatile thing. It should never be expected of a victim to do something to help their abuser... even though many abusers were at one point victims themselves. It may depend on the severity of the situation. I'm not sure. In my own case, it was a severe case of emotional abuse that occurred over a seven-year period, which ended because the relationship eventually self-destructed.
I did my own reading on the issue because it was a particularly odd thing for me to grasp, being a man victimized by a woman. Try looking for support with that in mind. What shocked me, was that according to the typical symptoms or signs of this sort of abuse, the relationship I was in had a majority of them. The severity of the abuse depends on the cumulative occurrences of these.
Translation:
Counselor: Tell me the things that your spouse does to you.
Client: *Offers a laundry list of events, both unique and recurring*
Counselor: You should leave the relationship...immediately. Don't go home; go to a shelter if you must.
I'm not sure if this would be the case if the client were male, but now you get a hint of what goes on in my mind.