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Yeah, this is a tough one. I have a friend who recently got married to a guy who, as far as I know, is an upstanding and caring man, came from a good family, responsible, intelligent, etc. However, I do know that one time, during a heated fight, he grabbed her by the throat in a moment of fury, and semi-attempted to strangle her. He was shocked at himself immediately afterwards, and apologized profusely, and things went on. It was never spoken of again, and as far as I know, nothing like that has ever happened again. I do think it was a momentary loss of control... but you know what? I would have broken up with him and not looked back. That is not the kind of shit that anyone should EVER have to put up with, not even once. No way, man. I still worry about my friend marrying him, with that one spot of evidence on his record... what he might to do their children, in a "moment of rage." Fuck that. These men are slime, I don't care what happened in their childhood, they're adults now and responsible for themselves, and to not reform and get help only means that they are irresponsible assholes. And yes, I watched my stepdad put his fist through many a wall/closet door during fights with my mother, and I HATED it. I love my dad, but he can be an asshole, and my mom never should have tolerated it for an instant. Not an instant.
/ends rant
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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