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Originally Posted by tecoyah
Lack of Control....period.
Everyone gets mad.
Everyone has Issues.
Everyone has the ability to control emotions to one extent or another.
Not everyone seems capable of maintaining the ability to keep emotions in check.
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On the contrary, I think there are two types of abusers. Those who lose control and those who exert control forcefully.
There is a distinct difference between someone who loses his/her temper occasionally and gets physical, vs. a chronic abuser who uses violence or threat of violence to control someone's actions. I'd guess there's not a hard line between the two, and some abusers may fall into both categories depending on their mood and the dynamics of the relationship.
At any rate, the bottom line is an inability to use nonviolent means to resolve conflict. I'd guess the reasons vary from person to person (bad childhood, mental imbalance, whatever) but the root of it is a need to control another person's actions and the lack of non-physical skills to manage relationships and their own behavior.