abaya

I'd be very interested in hearing this stuff too, but I have a feeling that as long as the thread title is as harsh as it is, people aren't going to be willing to step up and share about it... for fear of being considered "*Really* sick" in the head or something.

From the little knowledge I have of the subject (I've done some reading, not least including Dan Savage's column), I think that some people are exposed to pain/humiliation at some earlier point in their lives, but it's not the majority. Some people really have no identifiable source for their desires... and I think twistedmosaic had it right there, in saying that certain things turn certain people on, and don't turn others on... and that's all there is to it. There isn't any other real way of explaining it, other than different strokes (whips, chains) for different folks.

I have read a few times that submissives tend to be, in large part, men... and often men who are in high positions of power with a responsibility to control a lot of things in their day-to-day lives, and so by night they want someone who can control them, to take the pressure off, so to speak. But again, this doesn't apply to everyone.

Makes me miss Gilda, though... wonder where she's gone to. She always had a lot of good insight on this topic.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran