There are some other threads on "good porn for women" elsewhere on this board, but I'm not up to the search right now. Additionally, I've heard good things about the book
The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn by Violet Blue.
I don't think that my wife would ever seek out porn on her own, but we watch it together occasionally, and it really heats her up. Also, she knows that I check out porn when she's not around, but she knows that it isn't a replacement for her, so she isn't bothered by it.