Making a Sister Balaspheme
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks
down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with
frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior.
"I thought this was the day you spent with your
family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf
with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we
can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I
devoted my life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed.
"So I take it your day of recreation was not
relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even
took the Lord's name in vain today!"
"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior,
astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a
monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg
left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my
life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the
line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not
100 yards off the tee!"
"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was
still trying to fathom what had happened, this
squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs
off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized
Mother.
"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister.
"And I was so proud of myself! And while I was
pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk
swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel
and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a
knowing smile.
"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister,
anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of
sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on the green, and the ball
popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches
from the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms
across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful
stare and said...
"You missed the *&^%ing putt, didn't you?"
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