mjby2

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks
down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with
frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior.
"I thought this was the day you spent with your
family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf
with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we
can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I
devoted my life to Christ."

"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed.
"So I take it your day of recreation was not
relaxing?"

"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even
took the Lord's name in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior,
astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a
monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg
left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my
life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the
line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not
100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was
still trying to fathom what had happened, this
squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs
off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized
Mother.

"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister.
"And I was so proud of myself! And while I was
pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk
swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel
and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"

"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a
knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister,
anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of
sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on the green, and the ball
popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches
from the cup!"


Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms
across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful
stare and said...

"You missed the *&^%ing putt, didn't you?"

Martian

Ha! That reminds me of another one, may be a repeat.

Jesus, Moses and a third go golfing. Moses tees off first. He hits a beautiful drive, straight down the fairway and into the water hazard. Unperturbed, he walks up to the water hazard, parts it like the Red Sea, and chips onto the green.

Jesus tees off next. His drive heads for the water hazard too, but lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks over the water out to it and chips it onto the green.

The third tees off last. His ball lands in the middle of the fairway, where it's picked up by a squirrel. The squirrel is picked up by an eagle, who carries it off. But as it's passing over the pin the squirrel drops the ball and it lands right in the hole.

Moses turns to Jesus and says, "We're never inviting your dad to golf with us again!"

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Jetée

I like the in-depth detaial that the first one goes into... sets it up for the zinger!

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

xepherys

I'm amused by both versions.

__________________
The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

loganmule

good joke...right up there with "hit the ball...drag Harry..."