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Originally Posted by silentbob
I talked to her about it at the dinner table, and she says shes learned to not take it so harshly and to "forgive." I dont see how she can do it so easily. I'm not as religious as she is, but I was brought up a christian. I too, cannot understand why she didnt just leave and find someone else.
In essence she didnt seem angry at all, she just told me that what hes doing is wrong, and when I become a father, I should set a better example.
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Well, at least she sees it as "wrong." Now, why she doesn't value her own happiness enough to rectify the "wrongness," that's something only she knows.
I was a Christian, too, for a long time. I was taught to forgive, and I did so, for many years. But what I found was that I was becoming a doormat for a lot of people and things, and that eventually started to make me more and more angry. I think I'm still dealing with a lot of that residual anger, after repressing it for so long. I can't imagine what would happen if I repressed all that for my whole life... I suppose I wouldn't want to ever wake up and deal with it, because it would be too much. Maybe that's where your mom is at.
That's one (of many) things about Christianity that I cannot live with... at least, American Evangelical Christianity, and ESPECIALLY how it influences women (e.g. to be the "follower" in the household, let the man control everything, etc). I think Jesus would be very sad about what the church has influenced people to do, and what kind of lives they live as a sign of devotion to him... when really, it has nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with "traditional" patriarchy and oppression of women over thousands of years.
It's as if women aren't allowed to be angry, otherwise they become less godly and pure... uggh. Which sets them up to be perfect victims of abuse, who believe they're doing the "right" thing by never standing up for themselves. Sorry, I find it to be total bullshit... and I am so sorry to hear that it has entrapped your mom.
