Honestly, if I were you, I'd have a hard time holding myself back from kicking my dad in the balls (at least verbally, if not physically). That is just some messed-shit that I wouldn't be able to stand by and watch.
I don't know what all else goes on between your parents, but just from the little bit you tell us, I'd venture to guess that a lot of emotional abuse goes on, if not (more) verbal abuse. And your mom may be religious and all, but I don't think Jesus would want people to stay in a position like that all their lives... hell, he got pissed off in the temple and broke out his whip to kick everyone's ass.
Have you tried talking with your mom about this? Asking her how she feels and sees the whole thing? Doesn't your dad consider the fact that you must see the notes he leaves? I'd address him as a man and ask him what kind of example he thinks he's setting for you, and where he learned to treat a woman like that and think it was okay.
Uggh, this kind of thing gets me going. I hate manipulative people, especially when it's their own spouse they're abusing. Best of luck man, and let us know how it goes.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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