[QUOTE=Cervantes]
Quote:
From my experience it is just a median on the overall experiences. Being that most dive into it without fully grasping what they are getting into and having too high expectations on themselves and their partners. (how many confused teenagers haven't started wondering about their sexual alignment just because their first time was a total turnoff?)
|
Aiming too high..That has been the problem on my part, which in turn leads to a bit of doubting the self confidence. The best part of this, being that I've know this girl for a bit over three months, we've been friends before that. Having found out she is on the girls soccer team just puts her right up there in my books. But lately its been impossible to talk to each other without this high level of sexual tension going on. We've done the holding hands, and a bit (fair bit actually) of making out and enjoying that enough to take it to the next level. We've even got a date and time and location worked out. I know or at least I feel that she is as ready as I have been.
Quote:
The first time is grossly overrated in the "Public-eye" in the sense that they put all these impossible expectations of fireworks and magical showers of pleasure on something that when it comes down to it is "just" another form of human interaction.
Observe: Do not for a second think that it being "just" another form of interaction means anything negative. Quiet on the contrary, it is something very positive
|
.
Very realistic take here. Good to know.
Quote:
By realizing that it is "just" a form of interaction it will open up to the mindset of "Here we have something that might become awkward in one way or another. How can we increase the fun and pleasure while decreasing the awkwardness?".
|
Foreplay..if I can hold out before the "moment" . Bluntly put I know, but another concern of mine. We have discovered the fun factor.
Quote:
But knowing what you get yourself into is gold worth. It may be awkward at first but when the chain finds the teeth of the cogwheel and the whole thing starts turning (you start to make sense of how the theory applies to the practical act) even though you don't perform at a pornstar level (those guys cheat, they take long breaks ) it can be a very magical moment.
|
I have a feeling the cogs and chain won't be in sync. Porn stars have fluffers so I'm told. I'll probably have the shakes all the way through.
Quote:
It's not "The world stops spinning" it is more of finding a new way of connecting to another person (no no NO.. Get your mind out of the gutter ) on an emotional plane we can't grasp before we've actually done it.
|
We've been ready for this and I hope its going to cement things between us. I'd like to see a relationship ahead. But my mind has been deeply entrenched in the gutter as well.
Quote:
BTW. Most people doesn't grasp this "connection" the first time, like everything else it takes Practice.. (see where I'm going with this )... and more practice. (now you're getting it.. )...
|
...agreed!
Quote:
The first time is like popping open a bottle of ketchup, first comes nothing, then you shake it a bit, still nothing and when you are about to shake it again everything wells out all over your food before you even have time to react.
|
So there is going to be some blood. Seriously..like a ketchup bottle beaten too hard? gah. Or is that in reference to my stamina level..either way. tricky.
Quote:
My only advice on this matter is: Don't do what I did, don't jump into the full blown act of full sexual intercourse the first thing you do. Experiment, let it happen incrementally, grow accoustomed to one level before moving on to the next. It might feel like a waste of time but later I'm willing to bet you will be glad you did it that way.
|
This has been, and from everyone else who has responded (initially I really had to hold myself back from clicking the submit) excellant advice for someone who has only had text book reference, and online porn..and locker room talk/bs..thanks for putting a realistic reasonable take on this pretty significant step for me.
Well, I could do a follow-up but I'm not sure you'd all want to be subjected to possible comedy/tragedy outcomes. Just that my calendars marked, I have the trojans
tm and the advice has been absorbed. And now I'm in need of a cold shower or a run around the block...or something. You don't know how much helpful this has been.
