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Originally Posted by hagatha
Abuse is abuse. Emotional abusive is most insidious because you feel the ground shifting beneath you and think its your own issues. When you're with someone you should not be second guessing why they are with you, nor should you feel inadequate. He has played with your self-esteem and will continue to do so as long as you are with him.
Run away, run away now. Don't look back.
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I agree completely.
From what the original poster said, this is way beyond something said in the heat of the moment. The guy is abusive and insecure.
Everyone gets into some roof raising arguements and words get exchanged - whatever, it happens, but what you (original poster) are describing is ongoing abuse. One woman I lived with (ironically from Scotland) would constantly bitch about my friends and family. She was like a broken record. We had some incredible scream-fests with her screaming "I hate you", or me screaming back "I want out", etc. etc. But neither of us either belittled the other (as amazing as that might be thinking back at the heat of arguement) I never told her she was ugly, etc.
If it's a repetative thing that comes up from time to time, you need to leave for some-one else. As to the dope smoking, I'm not so sure he wont' get back into that too. At the very least, you need to draw yourself a mental line in the sand (if he starts smoking dope again, if he starts another arguement and belittles you, if he calls you names again) and if he crosses it, you leave and don't look back.
I have a question for you though - why would you stay?