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Originally Posted by Vlad
Trust me on this one, avoiding a "messy" situation is a really, really bad reason to stay in a relationship. You can find another apartment if you need to, or stay with a friend, or find somebody looking for a roommate. Yes, if you do end up breaking things off then you're going to have to relocate, but it really is a minor inconvenience compared to living every day miserable (if that's the case).
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Its very difficult to find another apartment, I'm in china, I can't speak fluent mandarin or cantonese, and I don't have a massive amount of money, I'd need help, no friends in this city yet really. The only reason I'm here is for her, I can do my work from anywhere so if I left her, I'd have to fly back home, but my flight is in 2 months, I don't have the money to rebook it, and I don't think theres a chance. It is a massive inconvenience to relocate atm, though theres always a hotel. My parents could bail me out, but things really aren't anywhere that bad I feel.
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Originally Posted by Vlad
In the end, it really does boil down to weighing the good against the bad. Do the bad things make you more miserable than the good things make you happy? It's very easy to let yourself just sit and hope things get better, if only to avoid "rocking the boat", but that doesn't solve anything. It's rare that a relationship will completely deteriorate to the point where there's absolutely no good left, so the simple fact that there are still good things in the relationship shouldn't be the sole deciding factor in the face of something that you'd consider to be a major issue.
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I think the good does outweigh the bad a lot right now, which is why I'm willing to keep going. I'm not really miserable with the problem, just uncomfortable, somewhat jealous, I just wanted a way to make her understand, talking to her at first just didn't work, but then now I think about it, the first time i talked to her about it, it was that time of the month.
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Originally Posted by OzOz
Very sweet girl, but had huge amounts of male friends and no female friends that I was aware of.
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She does have a lot of female friends too, I think maybe I just appeared at point in her life where all her male friends were men pursued. A few years ago all my female friends were pretty much girls I was interested in dating/had already dated. I think this is her first serious relationship, in reality its really my first serious relationship, or well one I've taken seriously.