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Why exactly does she want to do some amateur porn? It just sounds like an excuse to have fun while giving it a "serious" name, and not including you in it. It's like cheating but telling you it's actually not, and kind of making you consent to it, though inside you're all mixed up. It's a bit fucked up. If you're a monogamous couple (or thought you were). It's cheating with a fancy name.
I think if she doesn't care that you have a problem with it, then you guys aren't really together. When someone cares about you, they care if something they do is upsetting you, and they will try to stop doing it, or help find a solution to the problem that you both can live with.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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