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From what you've said, it just seems that she wants to place "relationship" in one category and "sex" as different. "Relationship" has more emotional attachment and can contain sex, but not necessarily. "Sex" is an emotionless thing by itself, so no matter who a person has sex with, that person can still emotionally feel loyal to his/her true love.
I personally do the same. I am more reserved with what I do with my own body, but give freedom to my partners past and present. If you want an example of what I mean, some months after my boyfriend and I said our relationship was serious, I told him that he can have other sexual partners if he wants, just as long as it is completely clear that there are no health problems (e.g. wear a condom). My major concern was that he loves me. Sex, although important, is not so much as love. For physical desires like sex, there may be things I cannot or will not do so I understand if he chooses that. He explicitly said he preferred completely monogamous so we agreed with that and I trust his word.
If you take the initiative tell her that you understand that these things can be placed as two different categories and then give her your opinion, she might be more willing to listen and at the very least, come to a compromise (e.g. still do porn but only solo). It is two different types of thought.
What is "not a big deal" for her can be a "big deal" for you. Different humans have different experiences and values, so your ways of thinking and priorities vary and possibly create conflicts like this.
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