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Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
I just learned to become comfortable with my round pegness and if it's a square hole that I'm in for the moment, it's for the moment. I don't sweat it.
I'm with abaya, moved alot, so now I'm quite settled, but again I still moved alot within the same area until I found where I wanted to plant more permanent roots.
But mostly, I had to learn more than anything to be comfortable being me so that I could find those friends that accepted me as me and vice versa.
edit: oh yeah, the couples singles thing... yeah a little awkward, but it's the most comfortable single friends I have that are fine with being the "third wheel" or even just going out as singles individually.
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I understand what you're trying to say, Cyn. However, it's not just for the moment...this has been going on for a good part of a decade...and has become increasingly worse over the last four years. At this point, I have one friend that calls me from Tennessee semi-often and I have another friend that visits occasionally. Otherwise, I spend time with Joseph, or one of his parents. There is no one else.
Also, luckily, I'm very comfortable with myself. My confidence did wane some over the last few years due to the problems I had, however, I've taken a lot of time to rebuild my confidence and my self-esteem. Although I've done this, and taken the time to know myself, I'm still finding I'm without friends or social outlets.
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Originally Posted by AJ13
To be horrifically blunt -
You're saying that many, if not most of your friends have grown distant and do not spend as much time with you as they did before. You also claim that you haven't changed very much. I find this hard to believe...
The most obvious response I can come up with is that either you (1 person) or your friends ( > 1 person) have changed.
You say that previously you have had many friends that all wanted to spend time with you and actively sought you out and now you don't. In your previous few breaths you mentioned that you're tired of drama and pretentious people who act like teenagers - who I'm sure are as shallow and bland as the girls that come into my store every day with a different guy on one arm and a new purse on the other.
I think you've changed, I think you've matured, and I think that you're better for it.
There is nothing wrong with being the octagonal peg for the triangular hole, it makes you interesting and bearable to be around. You've at least got some friends, probably very good friends, and I'm positive that as time goes on you'll find other people in your age group mature as well and join your cadre. (At the very least, you've got (so far) at least 8 decent human beings that you can complain to on these boards)
My best advice is to go out, act like yourself, pretend that you don't care what people think, and if they don't like you, fuck 'em - there's better friends out there anyways.
Hope everything works out!
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Ok, fair enough. I have matured and grown over the years, however, I meant I haven't changed in appearance very much. I haven't grown repulsive in any obvious way.
I know that, also, I'm not materialistic or shallow. I can be judgemental, however, I've given the primest example of how I judge in my original post. I strive to build up my confidence and self-esteem everyday, to overcome any roadblocks.
I hope now that I've enrolled at a new college that things will change. We can only wait and see. A part of me is trepidatious about it because I fear (just a little) that I will find, once again, the cookie-cutter barbie girls.
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Originally Posted by Crompsin
Not what you are missing, what you have!
(gestures to your huge, beautiful brain)
THIS seems to be the source of the problem for the subhumans in your quest for acceptance.
Hey... the first monkey to walk upright got shit talked to 'em all the time.
......
I'm the same way. I go out and sit there while all my friends are womanizing, flexing their muscles, and posturing like gorillas at the zoo. I want a girl who plays board games, reads books, shoots an M4 better than me, and doesn't mind putting her toes in the mud while its raining outside.
And thus I watch and wait.
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Wow. Now, I really wish there were more girls I knew that were like me. I strive to be a better person everyday; to be more intelligent and worth my weight in some expensive metal. I can't shoot an M4 (never tried), but I know what one is. I've never even touched an M16. However, I'm smart enough to know it's not a little round candy coated chocolate M&M with a number on it.
Sadly, I know girls who would think it was the latter.
I love it when it rains.
By the way, Cynthetiq, your avatar is still THE CUTEST picture I've ever seen!!!!